The female orgasm has always been a mysterious and elusive phenomenon. Just like men, women have orgasms. But what is their function? For the male orgasm, it is clear: the sperm serves to fertilize the female partner. However, the function of the female orgasm has long been a mystery until shortly.
For women, the physiological process of orgasm is almost the same. Although the stimulation takes place mainly from the vaginal and clitoral parts, women can also have an orgasm just by fantasizing. Other women can achieve orgasm by contracting certain muscle groups and intense tantric breathing techniques, but more on that later.
Most women know what an orgasm feels like and know that there are different types of orgasms. Sometimes a clitoral orgasm is satisfying. At other times, a vaginal or a combination of the two. Sex with a partner can also significantly intensify the female orgasm.
The body during arousal and the female orgasm
During a woman’s orgasm, two crucial things happen inside the body. When a woman gets quite aroused by sexual stimulation, it will eventually lead to an orgasm. The physiological response can mainly be typified with the terms vasocongestion and myotonia.
Vasocongestion
If something doesn’t sound sexy, it is a term like vasocongestion. This clinical name stands for swelling the tissues in the genital organs in both men and women. This phenomenon occurs due to the dilation or widening of blood vessels, which allows more blood to flow into the area. Without it, men wouldn’t be able to get an erection, you wouldn’t be able to blush when someone charms you, and your vagina wouldn’t naturally get wet on arousal. So vasocongestion is essential to understand the physiology of the female orgasm.
Myotonia during sex
Myotonia is the term for the involuntary jerks and muscle contractions that go through your body when you build up tension and eventually have an orgasm. These jerks and muscle contractions make you shake and move involuntarily and cause lots of typical facial expressions people have during sex.
Myotonia is mainly the physical response to the rapidly increasing tension in the body due to arousal. You can blame myotonia when you scratch your partner’s back. The force released during these muscle tensions is enormous and can even cause cramps, especially with very intense orgasms. Many women enjoy holding onto something while reaching orgasms, such as their partner, gripping the sheets, or the head of the bed. That way, they can deal with the overwhelming tensions more easily.
The brain during arousal and female orgasm
When the woman gets aroused, the logical part of the brain is turned off quite quickly. It is the moment when pleasant stimulation turns into pleasure. You see how people are less inhibited and more brutal during sexual acts than they would generally be. This is because the logical part of the brain shuts down.
During sex, the lateral orbitofrontal cortex is less active. This part of the brain is responsible for reason, decision-making, and value judgments. This deactivation of this part of the brain is associated with a decrease in anxiety. It explains why a couple secretly hides somewhere to have sex, that during the act itself, they have little fear of being caught.
Several parts of the brain are still involved in arousal and the path to female orgasm. Researchers have found that the genital sensory cortex, motor brain regions, hypothalamus, thalamus, and substantia nigra all light up during the moment supreme.
Meanwhile, the thalamus accurately records how the body is touched, moves, and any sexual memories or fantasies a person may evoke to reach orgasm. Meanwhile, the hypothalamus is engaged in the production of oxytocin and can help coordinate arousal.
Hormones and neurotransmitters in orgasm
Reaching and having an orgasm is a dance of hormones and neurotransmitters. When you cum, your brain releases an absolute tsunami of dopamine. During the excitement, but especially during orgasm, your brain works overtime to produce a lot of different hormones and neurochemicals. One of these is dopamine, the hormone responsible for feelings of pleasure, desire, and motivation.
Dopamine is formed in the ventral tegmental area of the brain. This neurotransmitter is released in other parts, such as the nucleus accumbens and the prefrontal cortex.
Oxytocin is also released during an orgasm. This hormone is secreted by the pituitary gland and released into the hypothalamus, where it makes us feel attached to other people and creates a feeling of affection.
Another hormone that is released during the female orgasm is prolactin. This hormone provides the feeling of satisfaction that comes with an orgasm.
Having an orgasm stimulates your brain in the same way when we do drugs or listen to our favorite music. The brain doesn’t differentiate much between sex and other pleasurable experiences. The parts of your brain that make you feel good after indulging in good food or winning at the roulette table are the same areas that light up during orgasm.
Pain tolerance
During sex, the brain releases chemicals that make you less sensitive to pain. When activated, the pituitary gland promotes the release of endorphins, oxytocin, and vasopressin, three signaling substances that provide pain relief, intimacy, and attachment.
This may explain why things that make us shiver under normal circumstances, such as SM or other painful activities, are not as painful during sex and can even be enjoyable.
In fact, orgasm and pain activate some of the same areas of the brain. Some people take sexual pleasure from experiencing pain because orgasm and pain activate some of the same regions of the brain.
After the female orgasm
After an orgasm, the brain releases hormones that can make you feel happy and sleepy.
Once an orgasm has occurred, your brain tends to slow down, but it doesn’t close down completely. After orgasm, the parasympathetic nervous system gives the signal to calm the body. The prefrontal cortex, which was previously activated in the build-up to orgasm, is also down-regulated.
The brain also produces serotonin after an orgasm. This hormone is known to bring a good mood and promote relaxation. Serotonin can also cause drowsiness in some people.
After the female orgasm, the brain releases oxytocin more than in men after an orgasm. This explains why women like to cuddle after orgasm and men prefer to sleep. However, men’s brains behave a little differently after an orgasm, but it’s good to be aware of this so you can understand each other better.
Why do women cum?
An orgasm can cause intense pleasure. Yet, for a long time, the benefits of the female orgasm were not clear. The benefits of the male orgasm are clear: they have to ejaculate in order to deposit semen into the vagina, potentially leading to pregnancy. The male orgasm thus serves a clear evolutionary purpose.
Until recently, the function of the female orgasm was unclear. Researchers have suggested the potential benefits for decades. Still, the evolutionary advantage has only been known for several years when Scientists closely studied physiology, and they inserted a mini camera into a woman’s vagina during orgasm. Also, they filmed inside the vagina the moment she had an orgasm.
The cervical dip/cervix dip
When the female orgasm occurs, the hormones are released to cause the cervix to contract, causing it to “dip” repeatedly in the vagina (those are the muscle contractions you feel during an orgasm). It’s those muscle contractions, or the cervical dip, that helps direct your partner’s sperm into the uterus to increase the chances of pregnancy.
Of course, the question then arises: can a woman also get pregnant without having an orgasm? Yes, of course, because orgasms are not necessary for pregnancy. However, female orgasm is conducive to a successful pregnancy. From this perspective, it’s logical that the woman should have an orgasm after her partner did, which is generally not usual.
From a biological perspective, orgasms also serve as a release of vasocongestive and myotonic tension. When we release this tension, the orgasmic platform, the tissue of the outer third of the vagina, starts rhythmically contracting. The orgasmic platform involves between three and 12 contractions in most women.
Different types of female orgasms
You may be wondering why a solo session with your partner is a different experience than with your new toy. While an orgasm with a vibrator or other toy can lead to orgasm, physical climax, sex with a partner is much more satisfying. This is because you can look each other in the eye, become one physically and emotionally, and of course, you can cuddle. In that sense, an orgasm can differ considerably in intensity.
In addition, as a woman, you can go for different types of orgasms, each of which has its own unique properties. Are you going for a g-spot orgasm? A clitoral orgasm? Or even better, the g-spot-clit combo?
Below you will find an overview of the different types of female orgasms that you can experience.
Clitoral Orgasm: For most women, the clitoral orgasm is the most popular, and it’s not surprising: this orgasm is the most intense for most people due to the concentrated number of nerve endings in the anatomy of the clitoris. In fact, the clitoris has a pleasure function and serves no other purpose.
Some women like to rub up and down, some like a circular motion, some like deep vibrations from a vibrator or all together.
G-spot orgasm: Many women have never experienced a G-spot orgasm. They have often heard or read about it, but it is a controversial topic of conversation. Experts have been debating for years whether the G-spot may be part of the internal clitoral body. Regardless of its anatomical roots, it is a very sensitive organ that can provide very intense orgasms. Read more about the G-spot orgasm later.
Mixed orgasm: In mixed orgasms, two or more erogenous zones are stimulated at the same time to lead to an orgasm. The most common mixed orgasms are direct stimulation of the clitoris, G-spot, nipples, and vagina. The female pelvic area is a node of nerve endings, and simultaneous stimulation leading to a mixed orgasm is extra intense.
Anal Orgasm: While women don’t often experience an orgasm from anal stimulation, many are sure to involve intense arousal. In butt play, shared nerves are stimulated by the proximity of the rectum and the vagina, and the clitoris. This allows intense sensations to be triggered through the nerve endings in the anal area.
A-Spot orgasm: Less known than the G-spot is the A-spot. It is located in the anterior wall of the vagina but is deeper than the G-spot and closer to the cervix. That is why the female orgasm via A-spot stimulation can also be called a deep vaginal erogenous zone orgasm. The A-spot is an average of 12-15 centimeters from the vaginal opening. Especially with a larger shaped partner, this erogenous zone can be strongly stimulated. The way you like this stimulation is very personal. Some women can peak from it; others find stimulation from the A-spot unpleasant. (s)
Coregasm: Although the environment of a Crossfit box is not the ideal place to reach an orgasm, there are certainly women who have had an orgasm there, even without intention. The intensive training of the muscles around the core of the body can cause contractions in the pelvic floor that can lead to an orgasm. This can be embarrassing for some women.
While the orgasm can be compared by no means be to a sexual orgasm, it can undoubtedly cause a satisfying feeling. Women who have ever experienced a coregasm describe it as the same feeling you would feel with external clitoral stimulation where the pelvic floor contractions release tension in the pelvic area.
Valley Orgasm: The valley orgasm is the opposite of a peak orgasm. In a peak orgasm, the focus is on the climax, while in a valley orgasm, the climax is delayed through the practice of relaxation, mindfulness, and controlled breathing. A valley orgasm happens when we don’t have high-intensity sex but instead take more time to enjoy and delay the climax. This orgasm, the goal does not depend on the build-up of tension, the climax, and the subsequent “release” as with a peak orgasm.
With a valley orgasm, the aim is to extend the accumulated sexual energy throughout the body through relaxation (rather than being confined to the genital area as is typical with a peak orgasm). In fact, a valley orgasm is not much different from a full-body orgasm.
Both men and women can experience valley orgasms. As the sexual energy spreads throughout the body, the orgasmic pleasure is experienced in all corners of the body, rather than just the genital area, like a regular peak orgasm.
Sensations of pleasure, tingles, vibrations, jerks, expansion of energy throughout the body, and a sense of bliss characterize a valley orgasm.
Women are more likely to have valley orgasms than men because of the female sexual anatomy, which means that the sexual act does not end because a woman has an orgasm.
Tantra and the female orgasm
Tantra is a slow form of sex practice that is said to increase intimacy and create a mind-body connection. The result, after exercise, leads to a more intense relationship, powerful orgasms, and more satisfaction for many users. The increased intimacy is not only with a partner but also with yourself.
Within this Eastern life philosophy, in which the sexual energy has the main focus, the primary goal is not the orgasm itself but the channeling of the sexual energy. This sexual energy is considered the most powerful energy in the universe and can even be used in healing illness.
The female orgasm within tantra focuses on conscious tensioning and relaxation of certain muscle groups while intensely breathing and circulating sexual energy as the key to achieving deep orgasmic experiences. By integrating the heart-brain connection and feelings to the sexual act, you can get a much more intense experience
Due to the ever-increasing popularity of tantra in the west, many books have been published in recent years about the application of tantra in western culture. A good example of this is Urban Tantra by Barbara Carrellas. In this book, she explains in great detail how you can integrate tantric exercises into your busy daily life for solo sex or partner sex—highly recommended for both men and women!
How do I get a G-spot orgasm?
The G-spot is the crucial key to a satisfying vaginal orgasm and also leads to ejaculation in many women. For many men, it requires a bit of practice, but once they find it and know how to stimulate it, both partners won’t get enough of it. The “G” in G-spot traced back to the discoverer and was named Gräfenberg-spot, or G-spot for short.
Where can you find the G-spot?
The G-spot was long thought to be a separate organ in the front wall of the vagina, but relatively recent research shows that the G-spot is part of a much larger network of nerves and is also connected to the clitoris. This means that when you stimulate the G-spot, you are actually stimulating a part of the clitoris, which is much larger than we thought and lines a significant portion of the vagina. The small pea-sized lump where the inner labia meet is really just the tip of the clitoris and splits into two “roots” that can grow about four inches long inside.
Moreover, the location of these “roots” can vary from woman to woman, which explains why it is often difficult to locate. Rather than looking for it during sexual activity with a partner, it’s easier to explore on your own and find the G-spot. That way, you can navigate your partner when you are making love.
When you’re looking for your G spot, start relaxing. When you start to explore your body, you do best when you feel good about yourself. When you’ve “warmed up” yourself, insert your fingers or a sex toy into your vagina.
Then, with your fingers or the toy, lift up towards your belly button in a “come here” motion. Feel the front of your vagina until you feel the typical sensation. As with the other erogenous zones, preferences can differ from person to person. Some women like rough and hard. Others prefer gentle, firm pressure.
Not all women will find satisfaction from G-spot stimulation, and that’s fine too. By taking time for yourself and exploring your own preferences, you can make sex with your partner easier by indicating what you like and what turns you on.
Best positions for G-spot stimulation
If you want to stimulate the G-spot during sex with your partner, there are a few positions that work best. Try out these positions so you have as much control as possible over the movements and can determine the correct angle. While there are several suitable sex positions, these are the best three:
Cowgirl
Push your partner onto his back on the bed and straddle him. This position gives you complete control over the game in terms of rhythm, depth, and angle of penetration, so you can focus on finding your G-spot.
Instead of moving up and down, focus on finding your G-spot against your anterior vaginal wall. Vary the angle, the speed at which you move and experiment. You are “in control,” and now it’s all about your pleasure!
Doggy style
Doggy style is another way to achieve some deeper penetration during sex. By simply tilting your pelvis, it is easy to vary the angle to find your G-spot.
Start on your hands and knees with your partner behind you. During penetration, try to lean your forearms or push your hips back to change the angle. You can also do this by sitting on your knees next to the bed and resting your upper body on the bed. Your partner can then stand behind you and try to hit your G-spot from there.
Closed missionary position
In this variation on the classic missionary position, you provide more stimulation without the penetration depth. You start on your back and move your legs together. Your partner’s legs are placed astride yours so you can squeeze him tighter. While this position allows for superficial penetration, it does provide a tighter feel and more friction against your G-spot.
Porn vs. Reality
Especially when you sometimes watch porn, you will agree that the actresses reach orgasm very quickly, very often “come” at the same time as their partner and that it is actually all too good to be true. They are not called “actors and actresses” for a reason.
Reality is more unruly. Women are often led to believe that sex is shameful, which can make it more difficult to experience orgasm and sexual satisfaction. Don’t be afraid to take your sex life into your own hands and discover what you like and enjoy and, above all, what turns you on!
If that means stimulation from your G-spot will get you through the roof, great! Do you like it? Or you can not find it? It doesn’t matter! There is no rule or standard that determines what is good or bad. The most important thing is that you feel good about it.
Female orgasm: ejaculation/squirting
Female ejaculation is often confused with female orgasm. Female ejaculation does not necessarily mean that orgasm takes place. Female ejaculation is when fluid – not necessarily urine – is expelled through the urethra (pee hole) during sexual arousal or orgasm.
To clarify female ejaculation in relation to female climax, we have listed below a series of frequently asked questions about female ejaculation, or “squirting,” in short, of course, with answers!
Can all women squirt?
No, not all women can squirt. While the exact numbers are difficult to guess, minor studies and surveys have helped researchers get a sense of just how diverse the experiences of female ejaculation can be.
In an older study of 233 female participants, 126 (54 percent) said they had experienced ejaculation at least once in their lives. Thirty-three participants (14 percent) reported having ejaculated all or most of the orgasms. (R)
Is female ejaculation the same as squirting?
Yes, these two terms are used interchangeably.
What exactly is ejaculate?
The juice released during squirting is essentially watered-down urine, sometimes with a little bit of ejaculate in it. It comes out of the bladder and out through the urethra, the same as when you urinate. Female ejaculate is a thicker, white milky liquid that resembles highly diluted milk.
According to a 2011 study, female ejaculate contains some of the same components as male ejaculate (sperm). (R) They both contain prostate-specific antigen (PSA) and prostate acid phosphatase, as well as small amounts of creatinine and urea, the main components of urine.
Female ejaculate that is released during squirting is very diluted urine with a little ejaculate in it. Ejaculate usually consists of prostate enzymes and contains a hint of urea.
How do you get female ejaculation?
Most women who squirt report that this is due to G-spot stimulation, but regular penetration or clitoral stimulation can also cause female ejaculation. The degree of arousal, position, intensity, and stimulation technique can also play a role in whether a woman is able to ejaculate or not.
In fact, the claim that “G-spot stimulation causes squirting” has not yet been proven 100%. Since the G-spot is part of a nerve network that runs through the entire vagina, including the clitoris, G-spot stimulation is essentially clitoral stimulation as well. In this way, it is difficult to determine how the female orgasm is induced.
Where does the liquid come from?
The female ejaculate comes from the glands of the Skene, or “the female prostate.” These are located on the front wall of the vagina, around the urethra. They each contain openings that can release the ejaculate.
Although Skene’s glands were described in detail by Alexander Skene in the late 1800s, their resemblance to the prostate is only a fairly recent discovery, and plenty of research is still ongoing.
One study suggests that the glands can increase the number of openings along the urethra to accommodate greater amounts of fluid. (R)
How much does a woman squirt on average?
On average, women can squirt from 0.3 milliliters to more than 150 ml. That’s more than a coffee cup. In the porn industry, some actresses mess around in squirt scenes and drink large amounts of water beforehand in order to squirt more. It’s not uncommon that they simply pee instead of squirt.
How does female ejaculation feel?
This experience can vary from person to person. For some, it feels no different from a regular female orgasm that occurs without ejaculation. Others describe a rising heat and tension between the abdomen and the vagina.
Can women ejaculate on command?
Although it sounds unlikely, there are indeed women who can squirt on command. Practice makes perfect. While this skill isn’t ultimately meant for everyone, it can help to practice.
Can I squirt?
Self-stimulation, masturbation, experimentation with toys, and a lot of perseverance are the keywords. Of course, it is only more fun and exciting to master these skills by practicing with your partner. Especially if you still have to find your G-spot or cannot stimulate yourself properly, a partner is very welcome!
Either way, consider investing in a G-spot vibrator that has a curved shape that makes it easier to stimulate the front wall of your vagina.
The key is to relax, enjoy the experience, and try different techniques until you find what works best for you.
What if I can’t squirt?
Of course, it is fun to experiment with, but it’s not a must. Don’t obsess over anything that you (may) be unable to do. At some point, an obsession can take away your pleasure in sex.
Some women are suddenly able to squirt fully after a pregnancy, other women after menopause, and others never will. Enjoy the sex you have, the experimentation, and keep in mind, some women ejaculate, some don’t.
Misconceptions and fables about the female orgasm
There are quite a few misconceptions about female orgasms. As we read earlier, there have been discussions about the primary function of orgasm for decades. In addition, there are so many assumptions and misconceptions about the female peak. Some common myths are:
Orgasms through penetration are best for women
It’s a fable brought to the world by self-proclaimed experts who claim that penetration is essential to a satisfying orgasm for women. Most women, however, cannot even have an orgasm from penetration alone and can only orgasm by (also) stimulating the clitoris. While there are women who can have a vaginal orgasm, it is significantly less than the number of women who can have a clitoral orgasm. In most cases, it is a combination of stimulation of different erogenous zones, such as the vagina, clitoris, and nipples.
Women who cannot have an orgasm have psychological problems
While trauma, relationship problems, and unstable mental health can indeed make it difficult to climax, even women who are unaffected and simply in a healthy relationship can have problems reaching climax. An orgasm is both a physical and a psychological reaction, and there are numerous health complaints that can make it difficult to enjoy sex and make orgasm more difficult.
Some women suffer from vaginal dryness as a result of hormonal imbalance or medication use. This can happen while using hormonal contraception, during or after pregnancy, or as a result of menopause.
Women need to be in love with their partners in order to have an orgasm
Orgasm is a complex psychological and biological experience, and this experience is different for every woman. One woman completely collapses psychologically after a climax and bursts out emotionally crying, while the other is singing and full of energy, making coffee, and preparing breakfast. Some women want to experience love and empathy from their partner, while others prefer to pump up and down without any emotion mechanically.
The relationship you have with your partner may or may not affect your ability to have an orgasm during sex. A 2018 study found that 86% of lesbian women said they usually or always had an orgasm during sex, compared to only 66% of bisexual women and 65% of heterosexual women. (r)
Women who have sex more often have an orgasm relatively more often
Women who have sex more often do not necessarily orgasm more often. What’s important is lust. In the book Sperm Wars, author Robin Baker explains that extramarital sex is relatively more likely to result in conception. This is mainly due to the biological advantage that the sex partner has over their own partner.
Women who experiment more often and vary in the types of sex have climax relatively more often. They report:
- having oral sex more often
- to have prolonged sex more often
- to be satisfied with their relationship
- asking what they want in bed
- more likely to be engaged in sexting and horny emails or phone calls
- that they combine feelings of love and lust during sex
- that they have put their sexual fantasies into practice
- to experiment with new sexual positions
