When you are single, you may find yourself alone or even lonely. It can quickly be easy to give yourself free rein to work on a new relationship in such a situation. Still, you mustn’t look for a substitute for the emptiness you’re experiencing because then your new relationship is pretty much doomed to fail.
Before you start working on a new relationship and start meeting people, it’s essential to ask yourself a few critical questions:
- Are you ready for a relationship?
- How do you know if you’re ready for a relationship?
- What are you looking for in love?
- Is a relationship a filler or addition for you?
New relationship? Ask yourself these 5 critical questions
The vast majority of people stumble pretty soon after entering into a love relationship. This happens because they enter into a love relationship while they are not yet ready. To make sure that you are ready for a new relationship, I suggest you map out whether you are prepared.
1.Am I over my ex? So really about my ex?
You will not be an exception if you have to admit that you still love your ex somewhere. Of course! You have been through things together and loved each other very much. So it is very logical that you still love him or her. However, the question is whether you are at peace with the fact that your relationship is over.
You can love someone without needing them. The chapter is then closed for you. You don’t care anymore that he or she is in a new relationship. You have let it go, and you are at peace with it.
However, for many people, the bitter reality is that they are relationship hopping, a clear hallmark of co-dependency. If you recently ended an intense relationship, always give yourself at least three months to be alone. By going on a 90-day emotional detox, you can process everything emotionally and benefit from the deep healing you need to start a new, healthy relationship with someone else.
So many people plunge themselves bitterly and lonely back into a relationship. They don’t dwell on the main thing because their emotional state often attracts narcissists and toxic manipulators, who see them as easy prey. Only get into a relationship when you feel good and confident about your life, not when you feel bored or lonely.
2.Am I willing to invest in a new relationship right now?
So many people love the idea of a relationship, but they are not at all willing to put in the time and effort. For many people, a new relationship is a bad one if they just changed jobs.
When entering into a new love affair, be very real about whether you are available or not. Most people in such situations are overworked and under-loved. So if you work 50, 60, or even 70 hours a week and enjoy it, it’s a healthy trade-off whether you’re willing to invest time and effort into a relationship.
Many people have a certain work ethic about work. They think they will get more recognition if they work more hours. Yes, indeed, from the employer! Many have no boundaries. They have nothing to do outside of work, so all they do is work. Others have just the opposite: a dysfunctional and even toxic work environment. They want a relationship, but they are in the middle of a massive burnout.
The illusion of a new relationship in such a situation is that when they meet that great person to start a relationship with, they are thought to reduce their focus on work. Nothing could be further from the truth because it is either a filling for a void or compensation because you simply don’t have the time or are willing to invest.
To attract an ideal partner, you must have space in your life for him/her or be willing to make concessions for it. Take stock of your weekly schedule and see where you can cut or slide so you can see how much time you have left for a relationship.
3. Am I mentally healthy, and do I love myself?
Dependence is a modern social disease. A lot of people can’t stand being alone. When they are single, they spend weeknights with friends and often flee into stimulants and drugs on weekends. In fact, they derive their self-esteem and dignity from others, for they do not know how to deal with the void.
People who depend on others do not provide a stable foundation for a relationship. They use a partner to fill the void (often unconsciously). Most of the time, they don’t love themselves and are unable to value and care for themselves in such away. Dependent people don’t know how to love themselves and need others who love them to prove that they are good.
For a healthy relationship, it is essential that both partners love themselves and can be fine alone. That doesn’t mean you should aim for a LAT relationship, but make sure you can take care of yourself and don’t feel discouraged if your partner is out for an afternoon with a friend.
People who love themselves know how to set their limits on their partner and can also appreciate them when their partner sets them.
Maybe your previous partner cheated, or you have other trust issues. By self-examining your beliefs, you can master yourself and learn to be the best partner for your loved one.
4. Am I living my own life or my parents’ life?
Many people who start a new relationship have never asked themselves this question. Logical because it’s not something you realize yourself.
Surprisingly many people walk around with the emotional scars they have been left with the upbringing of their narcissistic parents. They have imposed their will on the children so compulsively that the children have strictly adopted their parents’ norms and values out of fear. It is, of course, much healthier to develop your own standards and values.
Very often, people suffer from feelings of guilt when they are criticized. If you start a new relationship with someone, they will play a role and eventually undermine the relationship.
It helps to get to know yourself and to learn to inventory to what extent you lead your own life and whether it is your opinion that you vent to the outside world. Learn to set boundaries, detach yourself emotionally from your parents and develop your own standards and values.
5. Is it about money and career for me?
Nothing can be as debilitating to a relationship as money. When one of the partners has a money problem, an imbalance arises. It could be that a partner is out of a job or simply has a low standard of living and doesn’t need much. While the other partner may make a living with love and pleasure, there is usually a silent desire for balance to be restored. It is very important to discuss such a situation, as it befits good practitioners in a 5D relationship.
Conversely, a partner who is unemployed may also try to distract themselves with a relationship. Only enter a new relationship if you feel safe and confident. If you’re looking for a job or in the midst of a massive business reorganization, get your act together first. You want to introduce the best version of yourself to your new partner, so give yourself time to achieve these things.
Love yourself before entering into a new relationship
Many people entering into a new love affair use their new partner as a substitute. They are quick to love another – or so they think – when they don’t even know what it’s like to love themselves. So the question that arises is, how can you love someone else if you don’t even know how to love yourself?
Learn to value yourself first. Take a look at yourself in the mirror, not functionally when shaving or dressing up, but with a genuine interest. What do you see on your face? Are you tired? Hurt maybe? Or afraid of losing yourself in something? By really connecting with yourself and accepting traits (both outwardly and emotionally), you are better able to enter into a new relationship in a stable manner.
Feeling happy, heart coherence and attraction
Happy people radiate that. You pick them up like that! They accept and appreciate who they are, and with their positive mindset, they also give the people around them a bit of positivity. We all know how wonderful it can be to feel good about yourself.
One feels fine as standard. The other is a bit somber. It doesn’t matter because you can teach yourself a positive mindset. The most important thing is to make yourself happy. As soon as you feel happy and share that happiness with those around you, you will get a surprising amount of positive in return.
Heart coherence is an important and powerful way to feel happy. In fact, heart coherence is a state you are in when you experience genuine gratitude, a state in which you feel love and appreciation for a pet, a family member, or a friend, for example.
When you are happy, grateful for who you are, what you have, and radiate that, you will find that you attract more happiness. People like to be in your company, and that is, of course, what you want when you are looking for a new relationship!
So don’t “desperately” hunt for a relationship. Turn it around and let your potential partners hunt you! You will find that you will attract it exponentially if you live in a state of gratitude and love, as described in the Law of Attraction.